this or the next week i actually wanted to write a journal about an upcoming artproject me and my swiss dA-friends are currenty working on. sad to say, this blogpost is not going to be about our project but about something else on my mind that got me down.
for the last couple of days, i felt that some of my close friends were acting weird around me. hardly responding to me texts, avoiding me in general and so on. thats very strange, considering me and my friends text eachother almost every move and hang out almost daily. one night, after getting really pissed because i was getting avoided, i went to my friends house and rang the doorbell. i asked him very directly what his problem was and demanded he tell me right away. after being hesitant for a bit, he finally sat me down and told me that he got some texts , saying that i was in love with him and wanted to be with him. first, i laughed really hard, because that was really not the case. i do love him very much, but only after a friend. after speaking for a couple of minutes, i found out, that a girl i called my friend, was sending screenshots of conversations i had with her and other people to those people we were talking. and if that wasnt even bad enough, most of the texts were fake.
first thing was that this was all a big joke.... i really couldnt believe that somebody would try to break up our friendship by sending them phony screenshots. the more we talked, the more i realised that i had found out, why all my friends were avoiding me. i brought my phone to my friends place and i let him read all my text-convos i had. just to show him that i never ever said word about loving him.
at first, i was so angry. how would anyone want to ruin my friendships over texts that werent true anyway? i tryed talking to the girl. she didnt deny anything and told me that she was mad at us for not inviting her to spend her holiday with us? excuse me? thats why you try to break up friendships that lasted for like 10 years?
after being pretty pissed off i was really, really hurt. not primerly by her actions, but because of my friends reaction. there were around 10 people involved, and not one had the decency to ask me about this stuff. if id get a text from a third party about a friend of mine, i would ask. especially since some of the texts were pretty offensive. why would i spend hours of my daily life with you and then go behind your back and text that you bother me? really? it also hurts me that she shared pretty personal stuff with my friends. not that i wouldnt want them to know, but i just like to keep certain feelings to myself and not let everyone know how i feel.. its just me. i dont like blasting around my stuff over the whole wide world. i like to keep a lot of things to myself.
i spoke to all of my friends already and i could convince them, that i would never ever say a bad word about them. i am a very honest girl: if i dont like you, then you would know. so if you ever hear rumors about someone, then take the time to ask them first before you assume anything. it makes stuff way more easy, not only for you, but also for the other people involved.
recently i heard that my dear friend patric is batteling a similiar situation. patric, i am very sorry for what your going though and i want you to know that i have your back. i know its pretty rough in the beginning, but dont let this bring you down. you are a very strong person and i believe in you.
call me whenever you need someone to talk. i am always trying to be positiv and see the positive in every situation. so i would like to thank the people who have been nothing then supportive to me during this whole situation! i love you guys very much and cant thank you enough
